when we learn that someone else imagines the gender divide differently to us, either we take the side of our own gender, or we give the other gender the benefit of the doubt.
this choice seems to come down to ego: we have a way of calculating our own gender’s worth and a way of calculating the worth of someone else’s gender and people don’t seem to notice that the place it pivots is within our own identity concept.
Unless it’s somehow a massive coincidence that feminists are more likely to be women and most misogynists are more likely to be men?
Some people get off on righteous anger, (a group of people I like to call “the entire human race”) and you can see this emotion come out of a lot of people when they talk about gender issues. we’re all extremely pissed off at the lack of empathy our gender experiences from all the awful angry wrong people on the other side.
if only those people would simply wait until they were *extremely* sure they were right, instead of just mostly sure, that would solve everything.
or, maybe we can show empathy to people even when they’re pissed off and yelling at us the exact thing were yelling at them. maybe figuring out who’s right and who’s wrong isn’t what’s going to solve problems.